I refuse to write your name because although this letter is specifically written just for you, I don’t need people to know who you are.
I just want to say that I forgive you. I forgive you for making me feel inferior. The feeling of hating myself and not being able to get up from bed because of the thought of seeing you terrified me.
I pretended we were friends for a long time. At times you manipulated me into thinking I was wrong and crazy. That everything I believed was wrong. People started to look at me funny and I didn’t know why.
I was 7 and you started whispering to your friends about me, laughing. Never included me in anything in class or the playground. Blamed me for the things that we both know I didn’t do.
Remember that time I fell and cut my hands. I had to lie to my mum about falling. About the bruises. I faked I was ill because school was torture.
But then it got to the stage I was so used to you hurting me,I stopped caring. Standing at the back was so much easier. Hiding in the background. If I couldn’t be seen, the bullying would stop. But how wrong was I? I was wrong about everything.
Leaving you behind was supposed to be the best thing. But somehow you followed me everywhere. There were more people who wanted me to blend into the background. More you. More pain. More lying. Until I stopped existing.