Dear Taiba:All I Ever Wanted
I walked through life, trying to find a place to call my own. Somewhere that I could be me without any any criticism. All I ever wanted was a home. But how can I look for home when I have no clue where it is?
To be honest with you, despite being happy and content with myself and with the way life is going, I can’t shake the feeling that no matter what I will never have the sense of belonging somewhere. Nothing to smile about at the end of a tiring day at work. God, I don’t even know what I even want anymore.
I wanted to fit in the world so badly that I lost myself. I drowned in the crowd. Got trampled, received scars that I don’t know how to wear bravely. I am completely and utterly lost with out any idea where I am going. That’s the worst part. Not knowing where I am going. How can I stop being lost when I don’t even have a destination? I am scared. More scared than I am of the dark. I know that after the darkness, light will come but I’m afraid I will never find myself.
I need reassurance. From you. I need you to tell me that I have gotten what I have always wanted. A place to call my own. A home. I need to know that there is a way out of the forest. That although I can’t see it, there is land.
All I Ever Wanted