For a long time, the hijab didn’t feel like me anymore. After wearing for over a decade, my intentions for wearing the hijab became blurred until I stopped remembering why I would wear it. The relationship was slowly decreasing, resulting in me taking it off.
It took me a lot of courage to take this step. It wasnt easy as I was afraid. For years, I had a choice in wearing it. Although, I no longer felt like myself when I wore it, I didn’t know who I was without it. There was a lot of internal struggle for a long time unI had the courage to temporary take it off on holiday. A couple of days after the holiday and it still has not made it way back in to my life.
However, this is still a temporary process. I still have hope that one day, whenever that will be, I will once again happily choose to wear my hijab. But at this moment of time I need to redefine what it means to me. I dont want to start resenting it. I want to fall in love with the hijab again like all those years before.
I dont need the judgement. The criticism, the looks or the questions. I need support because this is just temporary, not permanent.